


Madcap

by RavennaRose



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Humour, Love, Marriage, Romance, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-11-08 09:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavennaRose/pseuds/RavennaRose
Summary: Marriages are made in heaven, right? WRONG! Marriages are made in hell where my wife was the reigning queen.Rushing into marriage was probably not the best idea. Being married to a person you barely knew was troublesome but it was definitely entertaining. Especially when the said person was hands down the most interesting person that you’ve met.-This is an independent work of fiction. Any resemblance to real life characters are entirely coincidential.





	1. Pale green walls

**1\. Pale green walls**

 

How in the hell did I end up like this? Seriously, HOW? He looked at the cup of coffee… salty coffee. That woman had poured a truck load of salt into his morning coffee! The one thing he gets to enjoy on crappy mornings. He is definitely going to have a word with her regarding this little stunt. 

Marriage wasn’t a part of his plans. It all happened so soon and he was still reeling from it. His grandmother was the center of his universe and the one person he would absolutely do anything for. After his mother had passed away at an early age his grandmother became his sole supporter. His father was starting his own business and that kept him away from his son all the time. His grandmother became his best friend and family. Long story short, anything his grandmother asks of him, she gets it.

So when she asked him to consider marriage from the hospital bed, he had agreed. His grandmother had always been full of life and sometimes he forgets her age. She looked frail and breakable and… sad. Hence, he had agreed readily to get married. He has never really had that many friends and had took over his father’s business from a very early age. Which left very little time for making friends or dating. He knows she is only worried about him. She used to say all the time that she really wanted to watch him get married and settled down before she could leave the world.

He forgot to contemplate one very important thing though. His grandmother was clever, very clever. The devious woman had already picked someone out for him. And he fell into the trap all that easily. He would kick himself in the butt if he could.

His grandmother has given him her number asking you to talk to her. Amora was her name. A few conversations with her told me that she was not a psycho killer. Although I did not have that much time to get to know each other, I learnt that we both have busy lives. She was the assistant editor for a tech magazine. Other than her name and her job I really did not know much about her. Which I didn’t realize I will come to regret later.

My father and I had decided on expanding the company which took up almost all of my time. I couldn’t spend time with Grandmother. Meanwhile, grandmother was getting worse and she was permanently put on bed rest. Day by day she was losing more weight and it scared me shitless. I decided I would get married and figure everything else from there. That’s the least I could do for the women that had dedicated her life to raise me. After explaining the situation to Amora, she readily agreed. Although I still didn’t know her reasons, I took comfort in her decision. Most decisions for the wedding were made by a wedding planner and both our families. We neither had the time nor the interest in it. Which also was a big mistake.

The wedding was a lavish one. It looked like Santa had exploded in the garden. My father had gone all out for it. Grandma was happy and I kept my snarky comments to myself. It was set on a beautiful autumn morning. Which I did not realize would be when my very own personal hell starts.

My wife was a beautiful woman. Anyone with two eyes can tell that. She was tan with long wavy dark hair and a pair of sharp eyes that made you question your self confidence. You know what people say about how appearances are deceptive? Yes I'm convinced that my wife is the devil incarnate. ..Yay....


	2. Deep dark coffee grounds

**2\. Deep dark coffee grounds**

 

It all started because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He had given her complete authority to paint the house as she pleases. After all, interior designing doesn’t really interest him. Once the paint job was finished and the furniture was all in place, it was ready to be moved in. He stepped into the bedroom that he would be sharing with this stranger he calls his now wife. He froze looking at the pale ash green color of the walls and ended up asking “Which sick dude threw up on the walls?”  Off to a great start!

She gave him a long withering look before sharply turning around and walking away. “Shit… Now what?” He had screwed up. She did take care of the whole house when he barely contributed to it. Maybe he could’ve said something better.

That night she cranked up the air conditioner knowing he gets cold easily. And everything spiraled from there onwards.

One day he decided to leave his pet tarantula on the bed.

1\. She did not know he had a pet tarantula.   
2\. She hated spiders.

Her scream was loud enough to bring the house down and to get the neighbors to call the cops. And they had a long conversation about boundaries and where the pet stays.

Next day she decided to retaliate by supergluing him to the couch while he slept. And the cushions had to be changed for which he insisted she pay along with the dry cleaning charges.

He decided to go one step forward and superglue all her shoes to the floor. Which did not go over well with her and dinner was an awkward affair.

And then came the coffee incident…… Now that he thinks about it. Maybe.. just maybe.. he is partly responsible for this fiasco.

*sighs*…

He poured the rest of the coffee into the sink and decided to do the dishes. They had agreed pretty early that they would each split the housework equally unless one is sick. Today was his turn to do the dishes and he was pretty sure there were a lot more dishes in the sink  than usual. Whatever! can’t get worse than salty coffee.

‘ _Salty coffee? Really woman_?’   
***pings***  
‘ _Be glad it’s salt and not laxatives husband. -Love, wife’_   
‘ _Hey! Stay away from my coffee. I agreed to stay away from your shoes. Everything else is fair game."  
_ ‘ _Fine. Fair enough_.’   
‘ _And the walls…’ ‘_  
You swore never to mention that again!’’

He found himself grinning before pocketing the phone and entering the meeting.

Over the two months they’ve been living together it has become a game of sorts between them. To see who can irritate the other more. And as much as he’s ashamed to say it, she’s definitely winning. They have fallen to an easy routine with chores. But she does leave him a truck load of dishes every time it’s his turn. He’s gotten bored of talking sense into her and conceded to his fate.

 ‘OH how the mighty have fallen!’

Dinner conversation is usually easy banter and teasing each other back and forth to see who can eventually run out of sarcasm. Unfortunately sarcasm was her middle name and he gets burrrrnt. It was her turn to cook so he stretched out on the couch after a long day at work with a book. She texted him saying she was stuck in with finishing a piece for tomorrow’s edition and that she will be late. She was definitely pulling another one on him.

She stumbled home late looking like a train had run over her. His brain somehow decided “Hey you look like you were run over by a train” was an appropriate response. She responded by looking up and walking away quietly. That was a first!

Her silence bugged him for some reason. He was so used to her sarcastic quips at everything that he found himself weirdly missing them. He found her on the balcony, looking up at the stars.

“What’s wrong Amora?”

“If I say what is wrong, will you shut up and listen and try not to get one over me?”

I nodded in response.

“I messed up. At work. That’s why I was stuck cleaning up the mess. Hence, I was home late.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I really don’t. Can we just go to bed?”

“Sure.”

I was worried about her but I kept them to myself. I reached over and shut off the lights. I turned to look at her at her end of the bed. She was curled up into herself and I wanted to comfort her. I reached over without thinking and curled an arm around her. She didn’t pull away and relaxed a bit after the initial surprise wore off.

Brain to Zach ‘Woah, that was new.’

I choose to ignore that voice until morning and drifted off to sleep.


	3. 3. Your red tie

3\. Your red tie

 

The couple never really got time alone since their wedding 2 months ago. They both decided that they would skip the honeymoon because of work. At least that’s what they both told each other. The main reason was.. well.. Honeymoon is basically a long holiday for messing around without interruptions. Whereas, they were barely getting used to sleeping in the same bed without fighting for the sheets. They had a long ass way to go.

Saturday was an important day for Zack. He had a party to attend to where he gets to meet some of the bigshots in market. This means, if all goes well, they could potentially become his investors. He has done this a few times but he was still nervous about meeting new investors. His father usually took upon the role of talking to and convincing the investors.

But the main issue was, how do I ask my wife out? There is a sentence I thought I’d never say!

I could ask her over dinner. Or maybe buy her flowers to set the mood. Wait, what if she turns out to be allergic to flowers? Knowing her she’d probably fake them just to give me a panic attack. *sighs* Either way I look at, it it’s got a low chance of happening.

He heard the doorbell and went to let her in. “You’re back early from work. They kick you out?” He decided to tease her a little and gave her a wide grin. Oh crap. He just remembered what she told him yesterday.

Yep. He should definitely practice keeping his mouth shut. It’s a miracle he doesn’t get punched on a daily basis. “I’m sorry. I just remembered… I didn’t mean that.” He stood there looking guilty.

“I think you’ve got a manufacturing defect. I should talk to your grandmother regarding this.” She told him with a deadpanned expression. He sometimes forgot that his grandmother was the one that introduced them. His grandma and Amora had met in the public library and had become instant friends. They were almost thick as thieves now. He’d better watch himself.

“This could be the wrong time to ask you this, but are you free this Saturday? I have a work party of sorts and I would it if you accompanied me.”

“Are you asking me out husband?”

Usually when she says ‘husband’ he knows she’s teasing. He scratched his head and gave an awkward ‘yes’. The gesture was way too adorable to not smile at. But she kept herself in check just to stay in character. He doesn’t need to know that she finds his awkward smile, cute. At least, not now.

“I will check my work calendar and let you know later. I hope that’s fine?” She even worked on Saturdays on most weeks so the question made sense.

“Sure! I got Chinese food for dinner by the way.”

“I’m pretty sure I told you I don’t like Chinese.” She didn’t mean to sound harsh and immediately corrected herself.  “It’s okay though.” Her brother used to say that she was way too blunt sometimes.

Son of a bitch! I was pretty sure she said she liked Chinese. I had one chance and I blew it! She had a weird look on her face throughout dinner. I really don’t think she will agree for Saturday after this slip up.

How to ask your wife out 101 – Do not get her the food she hates.

*a week later*

The week had passed by in a blur and he was in the middle of getting his tie right. He had gotten no response from Amora and had decided not to feel slightly rejected. He wore a three-piece, Italian cut, dark blue suit that almost looked black. It fit him snugly and made him look sharp. He wore a satin tie that caught the light just right. He had also pulled his hair back with a phenomenal amount of hair gel.

He heard a low whistle and turned around towards that sound. His eyes widened and he said without thinking “the tie definitely looks better on you.”

She smiled crinkling her eyes slightly.

“Why, thank you. You’re not bad yourself.” “I’m sorry I didn’t have an evening dress at hand so I decided wear my word suit.  I hope it doesn’t violate the dress code?”

She had worn a black pantsuit with a slim fit jacket and a thin red tie. She had pulled her hair in some kind of complicated knot and let wisps of hair hang free around her head. She also wore a pair of red heels and red lipstick to finish the look. She looked good enough for red carpet.

“Not even a little bit.” He smiled at her. “Wait a goddamn second! You’re coming with me?”

“I thought that was understood. And I definitely did not expect you to be this slow.” She walked away with a sway of her hips

“Hey! That’s rude” He knew she didn’t mean it and couldn’t help feeling slightly elated. He checked himself out in the mirror. “I  mean who could refuse this chick magnet?”

“Oh for god’s sake Zack!”

*Shit*

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”


	4. Pink champagne

**4\. Pink champagne**

 

They found themselves awkwardly bumping their hands while walking as they weren’t sure where the other person’s boundaries lay. He pushed his hands inside his pant pockets to prevent himself from doing something stupid like grab onto her waist.

So now he ended up looking like some creepy old pervert with hands balled into fists, inside his pockets. He sighed slightly looking over at her. Two months of marriage has not given way to any kind of intimacy. Mostly due to their work schedules.

He sat there looking for an escape and looked over at her. She was nursing a flute of champagne with her left palm and the other hand was twirling a lock of her hair.

She was nervous too! Amora was always the confident one among them both, so he didn’t think she would feel awkward.  He had brought to a party where she barely knows anyone and expected her to feel okay? Damn.

Okay, Damage control.

“Hey, how about we both go over to the bar and I’ll introduce you to a friend of mine?”

“Took you long enough, husband. I was beginning to think you forgot about your poor old wife.” She gave a mock pout with her lips. Those were some good lips. And the red color was only making them even more perfect.

Brain to Zack- Stop man. Just stop. You’re staring. Stop being creepy.

He shook his head to get rid of those unwanted thoughts. “Milady” He gave her his arm and smoothly took her to the bar.

“So you can be charming when you want to! I knew it. Most days you have the charm of a potato. So this is a pleasant surprise.”

“Keep talking and I’ll disappear and leave you alone.”

“Do you see the stage that the band is playing on?” He nodded looking towards his right. “yeah?”

“I will get on top of that and scream to the room full of people that my husband is missing. Also, I will tell them I am pregnant. You choose to leave your pregnant wife alone, all by herself.”

She will. She really will do it. I knew she will. Something about the look on her face terrified me.

“you low-key scare me woman.”  “As you should be, husband.” Damn. Just when I thought I had one up on her.  She definitely won this round.

“Amora this is Noah Parker. He’s my friend and legal consultant.”  “Noah this is my wife, which you know already.” They book shook hands and fell into easy conversation.  Noah was this goofy kid in high school that nobody could hate. He was anybody’s and everybody’s friend. Amora could see what made him likable. Whereas Zack was the dorky introverted best friend.

That thought alone made her smile a little too wide. He wasn’t any less awkward as an adult.

“Explain you smile.”  He whispered low in her ear.

“Excuse me?”

“When you smile like that, you are usually plotting something. Explain your smile.”

She smiled even wider and decided to mess with him a little bit. “I guess you’ll eventually find out. Husband.” She stressed on the word _husband. “_ I’m gonna go say hi to your dad.” She strutted away without knowing what was going through his head.

Suddenly he had an image of The Joker from Batman flash into his mind. Did I just compare my wife to the greatest super villian ever?! Goddammit! He finished his champagne and decided to follow her. Just in case.

Rest of the evening went smoothly. She had downed a little too many champagne drinks and was feeling slightly woozy. She was standing on the balcony when he brought her a glass of chilled water.

“Drink, you’ll need this.”

She drank it without question. “That’s surprising, how come you didn’t ask if I had poisoned your water?” He teased her knowing she was drunk.

“If I happen to die, you would be the prime suspect. Also, I have a cop friend and she’ll probably take you down. No worries.”

He laughed. He shouldn’t be this charmed by a woman who says she could consider him a murder suspect. Maybe he was the one drunk. She was leaning heavily on the wall and the wind blew a few stray hairs into her eyes. She looked at him and smiled a little.

For the first time in two whole months, he felt this inexplicable need to kiss her. That shade of red wasn’t helping either. It just amplified the temptation. Red was his favorite colour.

They haven’t spoken about this aspect of their relationship. Albeit being strangers they’ve formed a weird sort of friendship. He knew they would eventually get intimate and that it would happen over time. He had absolutely no idea of cheating on his wife. Now that he was faced with the situation of wanting to kiss her, it all felt too real. He also realized that he didn’t know if she felt the same way. So he turned his head away and stood in silence.

“All okay?”

“hmm? Yes of course.”

“Doesn’t look like it. You look deep in though. In case you wanna talk, I’ll listen.”

“I appreciate that. But it’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

“Aha! So there is an ‘it’. You just don’t wanna talk.”

He smiled despite himself. “It’s not important enough to talk right now. Maybe when you’re sober.” He tucked a long strand of hair behind her ears without thinking. He widened her eyes a little bit before coughing.

Shit. Okay, I know for a fact that my ears are red. Why am I behaving like a some sort of blushing virgin bride? Get a hold of yourself man! “So. Home?”

“Yeah….”

They walked down the steps and he decided he was being stupid. He turned around to kiss her on the cheek. The problem was, he turned a little too soon. Ended up bumping into his very drunk wife, who fell ass first onto the floor and ends up bumping her head, hard.

“Shit! Amora! Are you alright?”

She mumbled some gibberish and stood up. She glared daggers at him and walked away holding the bump formed on her head.

He let out a laugh without thinking.

“REALLY?”

“Sorry”

He knew this evening was too good to be true. He is cursed.


	5. Her brown bag

**5\. Her brown bag**

 

Editor in chief. That was what she wanted to be. Her mother had wanted to write a column in a newspaper. That had been her dream. But life got in the way and she had a baby. She never got to live her dream. As a single mother and a struggling working class woman, she barely had time to sleep. And her dreams were left as… well, dreams.

Her mother had always told her “Nena, friends, boys and money, they come and ago. But your dreams? They will hold your happiness forever. I never want you to make compromises for it.”

She shook her head when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in.”

“Miss Frenandez? I have a delivery for you.” She never changed her surname and he hadn’t asked her to.

“Who sent them?”

“It reads a mister Zack? There is no surname.”

“Thank you lily.”

“ _I’m very sorry for giving you a concussion. I wasn’t sure if you were allergic to flowers, hence I sent you plastic ones. I hope you accept my apology_

_P.s. please do not add laxatives in my coffee. -Zack”_

She was torn between wanting to laugh and roll her eyes. To be honest, it was an accident. He didn’t mean it but it had been painful and hella embarrassing. She sighed remembering that night. He had looked handsome. She tried very hard not to drool. After all she was a healthy women with hormones.

She should’ve kissed him. Why had it been so hard? Were they too used to being friends that it has inhibited the romance somehow? Darn it. Maybe she should try harder. Does he want to kiss her? She really didn’t have time to plan a romantic rendezvous, she had work!

She was drained and sleepy. She needed her bed and a she needed it now! She stumbled into their home and he looked up from the TV.

“You follow football, not baseball.” He was surprised that she noticed and a slightly warm feeling settled in his belly.

“I don’t, I just needed background noise while doing paperwork.”

“Ah…. Makes sense.” She pulled her dark brown bag along and plopped onto the couch.

“So. Long day?”

“You can look at me and yet you ask me obvious questions. I know I look like, what was it that you said again? _Like a train had run over me._ ”

He quietly got up and left for the kitchen. Shit, Did I offend him? But we say worse stuff to each other all the time. How could that have possibly offended him?

He came back and pressed a warm cup of tea into her hands. She looked up at him like he was Jesus with a white halo around him.

“Thank you. I needed this. And for the flowers.”

“You’re welcome. I did give you a concussion. I’d day we’re even.”

“Flowers are not equal to a concussion pal. You have more making up to do.”

“Gladly. Suggestions? And no, no laxatives.”

“Darn it. Will think of something later and let you know.”

He gave her a withering look. As if he knew she was planning something evil. Knowing her, she probably has the blueprint for a death-beam somewhere. “You know you really will make a good supervillian.”

“You do realize you are indirectly calling me smart and badass right? I’ll take it.” She raised her cup in mock salute. “I’m going to bed.” “And Zack?”

“Yes?”

“I really did have fun on Saturday night. Thank you inviting me potato head.”

“You haaad to ruin it didn’t you?” She gave him a toothy grin before going to her room to take a shower. Oh warm water felt like heaven on her skin! She stayed longer than necessary in the shower. She was out of her shower and she realized that she needed tampons. She had left them in her office bag which was currently downstairs. So, There are two options.

  1. Just walk in there in your towel and pretend you have the body of Jenifer Lopez.
  2. Ask him to bring you your bag. For which, he will tease you until he’s content before giving you the bag.



Either way there will be a level of embarrassment which you must endure with a heart of steel. She must pick the less embarrassing one. Option 2 it is! She dropped him a text saying she needed her bag.

“ _come here and take it yourself :p”_

_“Use emojis caveman. And bring me my bag.”_

_“you might wanna be nice to me.”_

She heard two knocks on her bedroom door before she opened to reveal him there with her bag. She reached out and he pulled away. They did this for a couple of minutes. This game is getting real annoying now.

“What did I say bout being nice wife? What secrets are you hiding in your bag? Money? Drugs? Stolen Jewels? Snakes?”

“What the hell? Snakes?”

“Yeah I saw a documentary on people who steal snakes.”

She facepalmed herself so hard that it left a mark. “I need tampons. Please”

“Sorry. Did not know you needed that.” He handed her bag over and walked back to the couch. I am definitely an idiot. Maybe I do have a manufacturing defect. Hmmmm. I should seriously talk to dad about this or a therapist.

They had a quite dinner and shared another cup of tea before bed. She looked him. He was talking about the stupid documentary and was making wild hand gestures. He really was a dork. And she happened to have a huge thing for dorks. She decided to be brave and went for it.

“Hey, can I kiss you?”

He ended up dropping the tea cup near her feet and nearly maiming her toes in the process. She looked up at him in shock. She blinked twice. And then again. Then quietly went to bed without saying a word.

I officially hate myself.


	6. Lavemder and her

**5\. Lavender and her**

 

There are only two kinds of people in this world. One who hates rain and everything associated with it and one who doesn’t. The pitter patter of rain on the windows, the smell of grass after a heavy shower and the warm damp air that seem to settle around you. She hated all of them. She hated rainy days with a vengeance. As long as she has remembered, rainy days have always been gloomy. Something sad seems to always happen on rainy days. She avoids them at all cost.

She sighed looking out of her cab. She had not brought her car to work as her friend had picked her up from home. She had tried catching the train in the rain and had gotten drenched. Now she looked like a cold wet dog with the fur sticking in all directions. She wanted to scream in frustration. Damn, she wanted to be in her warm bed.

With the rain and the overtime, she was in a foul mood. Not that she was ever sunshine and rainbows. It was midnight by the time she got home. She was starving and she needed a shower, NOW. She went inside the bedroom and found him reading a book.

“You’re usually snoring off by this time. Why are you up so late?”

“Okay, firstly, I do not snore. I know that because none of my previous girlfriends have complained about that. Secondly, I was waiting for you. You did not pick up my calls.”

He gave a long pause before saying “I was worried.” There were tiny worry lines on his forehead when he crinkled his brows. He really was worried. Then she realized that she had not texted him or called him.

“I was really exhausted and as you can see I’m drenched. So I did not want to make my phone wet. Also, I think my phone is on the –do not disturb mode.” “Sorry. I forgot to switch it back.”

“Go take a shower and I’ll heat up some dinner.”

She gave a tine smile and whispered “Thanks.”

She somehow made it through dinner without falling face first into her plate of pasta. She was ready to sleep on the kitchen floor.

“WAKE UP!”

She gave a loud shriek before looking at him with wide eyes.

“What in the seven hells is wrong with you!?”

“You were falling asleep on the table. I tried calling your name, it doesn’t seem to work.” He gave her a smug grin. “Plus, I couldn’t help it.”

“You’re an ass.”

“I brought you tea. I guess I’ll take it back”

“No… thank you. I’m just exhausted and in a mad mood.”

“Did something happen?”    

 “No, I just hate the rain. It feels so gloomy.”

“I like them.” She looked at him like he had grown an extra head.

“seriously?”

“Why do you hate them so much?” He looked at her with a genuinely curious look on his face. Her brain to mouth filter seemed to be off that evening.

“When I was 12, my dad left us on a rainy evening. Since then I have somehow decided that rainy days are a bad omen. I know it sounds stupid. You have 5 minutes laugh. If you do after that I will pour this tea on you.”

He didn’t laugh. She looked at him with an exhausted smile, hair still wet from the shower. He extended his arm and cupped her cheek. If she was surprised she didn’t show it. She held his arm in place, leaned into his palm and closed her eyes.

“I never said it was. I lost my mother when I was 5. I don’t think I even remember her now. But it still hurts sometimes. You’re not being silly.”

She opened her eyes and found him looking at her with an unreadable look. He slowly pulled her closer and bumped their noses together. She was anticipating a kiss. But he seemed to change his mind at the last minute and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He pulled her close and held her without speaking. Her arms automatically went around his back.

She smelled like lavender. God, he loved lavender. He placed his nose at the junction of her neck and throat and breathed her in. time seemed to tick by and neither of them seem to want to move away. He placed a warm kiss on throat without thinking. He waited to see any sign of discomfort. Without finding any he got a little more brave. He pushed her hair to one side and peppered kisses along the side of her throat.

She was pretty sure she was dreaming. How did it go from having tea to this! Her breath hitched when she sensed a nip of his teeth on the column of her throat.

Oh god. He was good.

He pushed his hands away from her shoulders and placed them on her hips. This seemed to bring a reaction out of her. She closed both of her palms into fists and bunched up his shirt in the process. She parted her lips slightly to breathe through them.  He smelled like coconut and something very different. The scent was calming yet it turned her on. It was a very unique combination. She should definitely check the ingredients on his soap.

Stop being weird girl. Just enjoy the moment.

The rain falling outside didn’t seem to disturb the couple in the kitchen. It became a distant sound. An afterthought. They choose to ignore the cold of the rain for the warmth of their bodies. She couldn’t think, her mind was in a daze. She was very much aware of those warm lips still kissing her neck.

If he had doubts about her liking it, he had none now. He really did not want to stop. But he was very much aware that she was exhausted and that it was late. She needed the sleep more than he did. Self control is hard. Very hard. Especially when you have a beautiful, willing woman panting near your ear.

“Amora. You really need to sleep. As much I’d love to stay here, all night, with you. You need the rest. You look really tired.”

He pushed her hair out of her face and gave her a peck on the forehead.

“Wow. Talk dirty to me.”

He threw his head back and laughed. The rich sound filled up the kitchen over the sound of the rain. “I’m really sorry. Come on sleepy head. Bed time.”

They walked up to their bedroom and snuggled up in bed. She almost drifted off when he spoke up. “Even though it’s your turn tomorrow, I will do the dishes.”

She gave him a sleepy smile.

“And… don’t change your shampoo. I like lavender.”


	7. Golden gramophone

**7\. Golden gramophone**

 

Music heals and empowers humans. They call it food for the soul. Everyone from Beethoven to Debussy had said the same thing. And Beethoven was deaf! So whatever he said had to be true. Right? Right? It is bloody eleven at night. The time when children are put to bed and people do their bedtime routines. Even dogs are not awake at eleven on a Tuesday night.

To all that is sweet and divine, give me the strength to not strangle my neighbor! Bloody hell man! He sounds like a cat having sex while dying of thirst. For once I wish it was my wife that was annoying me rather than this. She was magnitudes better even when she sang off key. God that woman cannot sing!

He runs out of the bedroom every time she’s in the shower in a good mood. Cause that’s when it starts…. It first sounds like she has a sore throat and then she raises her pitch. It all goes from bad to worse in matter of seconds. He swears even missiles travel slower.

The first time he heard her sing he actually thought that he had let the gramophone on and it was having glitches. She had called him an old man for having a gramophone. It was his grandmother’s and hence, very sentimental. After 10 minutes of looking and having found nothing, He had walked following the sound and into their bedroom. It took a few seconds too long for him to process that it was actually her… singing.

He was way too much of a gentleman to tell her how bad she was. Long story short, he always finds something to do when she’s singing. If she had noticed something, she didn’t call him out on it. He will keep this up as long as he can.

He loved singing. He was also good at it. His grandmother had taught him how to play the piano and sing. She used to say that his mother had a beautiful voice and that he used to fall asleep to her singing when he was a child. He longed to remember at least a figment of those memories. So he had eventually picked up that hobby. It had somehow made him feel close to a mother that he did not remember.

The worse thing about the problem at hand? Amora was undisturbed. Turns out she can not only ignore her bad singing, but she can ignore everybody else’s as well. She was off prancing in dreamland and barely moved.

Despite how bad his night is going, he can definitely applaud her on her ability to sleep through everything. He is very temped to burst a balloon neat her ear and see if she wakes up.

“I knew I loooooffed you.. umm. before I met youuuu. I have beeeen waifing..”

Yes my brother I have been waiting for you to stop too. He’s slurring his words now, fantastic. I swear I will shed a few tears if I don’t get any sleep tonight.

*knocks*

“Howdy neighbor!!! Grrreait night isn’t it?”

“Yes yes. I’m sorry, but could you please reduce the volume of your karaoke system? It is a little too loud. Have a good night.”

Just when he was about to leave. “Have you eeever had a woman bweak your heart into a thousand thousand pieces?”

 _‘Please, I cannot do this now. Please help me_.’ I prayed to the all the gods above from all religions to hear my prayers. I turned around to face my very drunk, very depressed neighbor. He did look sad, maybe talking to him will help him.

“You broke up?”

“Na brother, she lefft meee. Come sing with me! Us men gotta stick together!” Well he said that with conviction.

He got roped into singing savage garden for a whole hour. The same song. On loop.

“I really should go back, my wife might get worried you know.”

“Oh you’re married! I almost forgot you are married.” He burst into a fresh batch of tears after saying that. “So I slept with her sister once. ONCE. How could she leave me? Did those 3 years mean nothing?”

I stared at him for a solid of 5 minutes. “So let me get this straight. You slept with her sister after dating her for 3 years. She found out and left you. Now you’re blaming her for leaving you?”

“….when you put it like zhat it sheems like its all my fault…”

That’s it! I’m done! I was very temped to deck him on his stupid head hard enough for him to lose consciousness. I promptly walked out of his house and went home.

There she was. At the gate. Clutching her stomach and doubling over with laughter. She was laughing so much that she had to sit on the ground. She stopped laughing when she looked at my deadpanned expression and stood up.

“Why are you up?” I asked her in a flat tone.

“I don’t know. I just happen to wake up. I think it was the singing that woke me up.”

Unbelievable! She slept through him braying like a donkey but woke up when I was singing?! This must be some colossal joke. She gave me a shit eating grin.

“I’m going to bed. I got an important meeting tomorrow.”

“Sure I understand.” She smiled amicably before turning around to follow me.

“.. I knew I loved you.. before I met you.. “

“Oh shut up!”

\--

\--

Author's notes:-  Happy international women's day to all the fantastic women out there! Let everyone lift each other up and let none be left behind.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**8\. baby blue blouse**

They had not spoken about what had happened on that rainy night. Just when he thought that they had gotten closer, things seem to be awkward again. The air was still with unspoken things every time they were near each other. And the silence seems to stretch, taut, like  a bowstring. Every time he musters up the courage, something or the other takes away her attention.

Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about this. Maybe she’d rather go back to how things were. She was clearly interested in taking things to the next step. There is no way I had misread the signs. Maybe she has lost the interest. It’s just been four days since the incident. Am I that uninteresting?

Better not go down that rabbit role.

“ _I was thinking, maybe we could go out and get pizza tonight?” “If you ‘re free, of course.”_ He added as an afterthought.

*pings*

_“That would be nice.”_

_“So I will see you around 8?”_

_“Sounds great!”_

That wasn’t so bad. She sounds excited enough. We have got all evening. We can talk and bond. Bond? That is a weird word to use when you’re going on a date. He shook his thoughts off and started going over some documents.

*4 hours later*

Crap! no no no. He was already an hour late and there was no way he can go any time before 10 p.m. He had dropped her a text earlier stating that he will be at least 30 minutes late. But it was an hour now. By the he gets home she going to have planned his murder in ten different ways.

One of his colleagues had messed up by sending in deposits to the wrong client’s account. The original client has a crisis without the money and the deposit was to be made that very day. This was supposed to be resolved by yesterday! He had clearly instructed Damon to take care of it. Now he was stuck dealing with the big mess.

Even though he hated dealing with messes at the last minute, he hated dealing with careless employees even more. He was never the boss that fires people left and right. His father had always called him too soft to be a businessman. He never understood his father’s reasons for calling him that. But once he took a major position, he had begun to understand what his father had meant.

There are only so many chances you can give someone. One day they might make an irrecoverable mistake and it might cost him something major. Oh darn it. He could’ve been good friends with Damon. Emphasis on the ‘could have’.

Maybe he should call her and let her yell at him for now. He needs to make up and he needs to make it big. He was just about press the call button when his secretary came running in.

“Excuse me sir? Could you please come to conference room 2?”

She always knocks. When she doesn’t, it usually means it’s way too urgent of an issue. He hurried out of his room leaving his phone behind.

*11 missed calls*

It took another whole hour to resolve the issue. It was 10.15 p.m at night and he was exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that makes you sleep through anything. Even his noisy neighbor won’t be able to wake him up. While he was trying not to fall asleep at the wheel, he was already thinking of what to write on his tombstone. There is no way she’ll let him live after this fiasco.

-In the memory of Zack Brooks. Beloved son and grandson.    Final words : He urges you to be on time to a date

Sounds about right.

He stopped at the red light and started contemplating the various ways to apologize to his wife. Flowers? He could see no flower shops that are open at this time at night. A man should be able to apologize without losing his dignity! He suddenly let out a bark of laughter.

Yeah right, who am I kidding? I better go and grovel.

He opened the door to his house and tried making his way inside without rousing the beast. He quietly removed his shoes and got a drink of water. He slowly made his way upstairs making sure that the stairs didn’t creak under him. He knocked softly on the bedroom door before entering. There she was, fast asleep.

She was dressed in a baby blue blouse, make up still intact and was snoring away. He stood there feeling the guilt eat away at him. She dressed up for him and he hadn’t even explained the situation to her. He should’ve at least taken 10 minutes away from work to talk to her. Damn it.

He changed into comfortable clothes before slipping under the covers without waking her up. He spent a few minutes looking at her face in a totally non-creepy way. She really was beautiful. And very smart to boot. He placed his palm on her cheeks and drew gentle circles on her face. He brushes away a few stay strands of hair before placing a kiss on her nose. He pulled her close and promptly drifted off to sleep.

Morning was tense. She had gotten up before him and was having her morning cup of tea. He had nowhere to run in the small kitchen. But surprisingly, she had said nothing. He expected at least a scream-fest.

She had barely said a word before leaving for work. And he was worried about saying the wrong things. Scared. Scared is the word. He was scared of invoking her wrath on himself.

Must not disturb the beast within. He kept chanting this to himself.

He made his morning cup of coffee and sat on the couch. He was still a little exhausted. He sat there sipping on his coffee. He wanted to make up for yesterday. He considered getting a reservation in one of those posh French restaurants that serves very less food in very big plates and decided against it.

His wife was a practical woman and she loved to eat. So, probably not the best idea.

“Hmmm.. what to do?...”

He felt his stomach gurgle a little bit. That’s odd, he’s definitely not hungry. He usually gets a late breakfast at work. And then it clicked.

Laxatives. She had panned the ultimate revenge on him.

Well played wife of mine. He knew he deserved this one. Before he could complain his stomach complained loudly again.

Gotta go!


	9. white Mercedes

**10\. White Mercedes**

Shit. SHIT!

He is never ever drinking again. How could he not remember last night?!

He looked at himself. He was so very naked and so very hung-over. His wife was nowhere to be found. They had definitely done something last night and he doesn’t even remember! Oh now she was going to kill him. He was sure of that.

He hesitantly stood up, picking up the sheets along with himself. His legs were killing him and so was his head. If he felt this shitty he can only imagine what she must feel. Had he hurt her in anyway!? Oh no.

Even when drunk, he was never reckless or violent. But he damn well remembered the first time that he had gotten drunk at 15. He was a shy kid so when a couple of cool kids offered to drink with him he had felt special. He had downed drink after drink and had gotten sloshed in a matter of minutes. That had not been fun.

Next thing he knew he was trying to break inside a white Mercedes and had gotten caught by the police. His grandmother had come in a flurry demanding to see her grandson. He remembered being so relieved that he almost laughed. She had walked over to him and held his hands through the bars.

“Are you all right?” she had that concerned look in her eyes that she got whenever he got hurt.

“I’m okay grams. Can we please go home now?” He slurred his words slightly. He didn’t realize then that that was the wrong thing to ask at the wrong time, she gave him a tiny smile and went over to speak with the officer in charge.

“Are you the one who arrested my grandson?”

Go grandma! He was internally screaming. His grandmother can be scary when she wants to be.

“Yes ma’am.”

“I see that you have arrested him for obstruction of property.”

The officer took a breath and got ready to argue. He has seen so many families arguing for their reckless teenage kids that he knew exactly what to say. He had a response ready.

“Ma’am please listen to me. I know that he’s your grandson and you think that he could have not done this, but here’s news for you.. he has. He got drunk at a rave party and tried stealing a car. We need to detain him at least for 24 hours.”

“No, I was going to say to keep him for a week.”

…….”Excuse me?”……

“Keep him detained for a week if you need to. He needs to learn his lesson before he comes home. No grandson of mine is going to grow up to be a thief. So keep him.”

I vaguely remember a ringing in my ears. The kind of static that hits the back of your ears when you can’t make sense of what is happening. The whole of the room was dead silent after grams was done talking. I was pretty sure that was the first time that was happening. The office that previously had a lot to say didn’t have anything more to tell. I would’ve laughed if only I wasn’t behind bars.

“Grandma! GRANDMA!...”

\------

So. Long story short. He does crazy things that he doesn’t usually do when he gets drunk. And he remembers none of it. Absolutely none. He doesn’t hold his alcohol well.

First things first. Why am I naked?!! What the hell did I do last night? He wanted to ask Amora. But he was very scared of her response.

Speak of the devil. She walks inside the room with a steaming mug of coffee and a smile on her face. God, she was pretty.

“Sleep well?” She asked, handing over the coffee mug to him. She was fresh out of the shower and still had a sheen of water on her skin that almost made her glow in the sunlight. Her hair was still damp and clung to her forehead. Her smile though, was the best part of the day.

Goddamn it! He should be able to remember last night. And she was smiling! It was not helping. ‘what happened last night?’ is probably not a question you should ever ask a girl who you’re romantically involved with.

“Yes... Thank you.” Okay now I’m sweating.

“Well after last night, I should hope so! You needed the sleep”

- _What?! What?_ Act like you remember man. Do not mess this up. There are only so many chances that she’ll give you before she dumps you. Pick up your act together!

“Oh. Um… How are you feeling?”

“After last night? I’d say pretty damn good.” She laughed a little after saying that. “I’ve made breakfast. You should come and eat. You probably need it.”

I, Zack Andrews have officially screwed up.

“Yeah, let me go wash up.”

She gave him a smile and left the bedroom. The minute she closes the door, he takes off running to find his phone. Maybe he recorded something or something.

20 minutes later he walks down the stairs. After extensive thinking in the shower he finally decided to –fake it till he makes it.

“smells good.”

She served him a healthy serving of pancakes and adds some butter on top. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad… You know that last night happened.”

‘ _Oh no what is he glad about? God please tell me I was good in bed!’_

“I’m glad that YOU are glad.” He has no idea why he emphasized on the you and screamed it out.

“Are you okay Zack?”

“So good!”

“You are definitely screaming. What’s going on?”

“Nothing! Nothing! These pancakes are great!”

There was a long stretch of silence when he was trying to swallow his mouthful of pancakes. He was suddenly feeling very noxious.

“You don’t remember what happened last night. Do you?” Her face was expressionless when she said this. This somehow made her look more menacing than usual. Her sharp eyes had always low-key scared him as much as they fascinated him. She slowly stood up and crossed her arms over  her chest.

He finally swallowed and looked up at her. He had about a thousand racing thoughts in his head and about five hundred of them were about the various ways she’ll kill him and bury his body.

“I… Amora.. I know I messed up.” He slowly stoop up to meet her. He was at least 3 inches taller than her and he was terrified of her. He was an honest man and he had no trouble admitting that she scared him at that moment.

“Do you want me to tell you what happened last night?”

_‘Do I?’_

He didn’t trust his voice and hence nodded his head.

“Sit down and let’s talk.”

Shit.


	10. White mercedes

**10\. White Mercedes**

Shit. SHIT!

He is never ever drinking again. How could he not remember last night?!

He looked at himself. He was so very naked and so very hung-over. His wife was nowhere to be found. They had definitely done something last night and he doesn't even remember! Oh now she was going to kill him. He was sure of that.

He hesitantly stood up, picking up the sheets along with himself. His legs were killing him and so was his head. If he felt this shitty he can only imagine what she must feel. Had he hurt her in anyway!? Oh no.

Even when drunk, he was never reckless or violent. But he damn well remembered the first time that he had gotten drunk at 15. He was a shy kid so when a couple of cool kids offered to drink with him he had felt special. He had downed drink after drink and had gotten sloshed in a matter of minutes. That had not been fun.

Next thing he knew he was trying to break inside a white Mercedes and had gotten caught by the police. His grandmother had come in a flurry demanding to see her grandson. He remembered being so relieved that he almost laughed. She had walked over to him and held his hands through the bars.

"Are you all right?" she had that concerned look in her eyes that she got whenever he got hurt.

"I'm okay grams. Can we please go home now?" He slurred his words slightly. He didn't realize then that that was the wrong thing to ask at the wrong time, she gave him a tiny smile and went over to speak with the officer in charge.

"Are you the one who arrested my grandson?"

Go grandma! He was internally screaming. His grandmother can be scary when she wants to be.

"Yes ma'am."

"I see that you have arrested him for obstruction of property."

The officer took a breath and got ready to argue. He has seen so many families arguing for their reckless teenage kids that he knew exactly what to say. He had a response ready.

"Ma'am please listen to me. I know that he's your grandson and you think that he could have not done this, but here's news for you.. he has. He got drunk at a rave party and tried stealing a car. We need to detain him at least for 24 hours."

"No, I was going to say to keep him for a week."

......."Excuse me?"......

"Keep him detained for a week if you need to. He needs to learn his lesson before he comes home. No grandson of mine is going to grow up to be a thief. So keep him."

I vaguely remember a ringing in my ears. The kind of static that hits the back of your ears when you can't make sense of what is happening. The whole of the room was dead silent after grams was done talking. I was pretty sure that was the first time that was happening. The officer that previously had a lot to say didn't have anything more to tell. I would've laughed if only I wasn't behind bars.

"Grandma! GRANDMA!..."

\------

So. Long story short. He does crazy things that he doesn't usually do when he gets drunk. And he remembers none of it. Absolutely none. He doesn't hold his alcohol well.

First things first. Why am I naked?!! What the hell did I do last night? He wanted to ask Amora. But he was very scared of her response.

Speak of the devil. She walks inside the room with a steaming mug of coffee and a smile on her face. God, she was pretty.

"Sleep well?" She asked, handing over the coffee mug to him. She was fresh out of the shower and still had a sheen of water on her skin that almost made her glow in the sunlight. Her hair was still damp and clung to her forehead. Her smile though was the best part of the day.

Goddamn it! He should be able to remember last night. And she was smiling! It was not helping. 'what happened last night?' is probably not a question you should ever ask a girl who you're romantically involved with.

"Yes... Thank you." Okay now I'm sweating.

"Well after last night, I should hope so! You needed the sleep"

- _What?! What?_ Act like you remember man. Do not mess this up. There are only so many chances that she'll give you before she dumps you. Pick up your act together!

"Oh. Um... How are you feeling?"

"After last night? I'd say pretty damn good." She laughed a little after saying that. "I've made breakfast. You should come and eat. You probably need it."

I, Zack Andrews have officially screwed up.

"Yeah, let me go wash up."

She gave him a smile and left the bedroom. The minute she closes the door, he takes off running to find his phone. Maybe he recorded something or something.

20 minutes later he walks down the stairs. After extensive thinking in the shower, he finally decided to –fake it till he makes it.

"smells good."

She served him a healthy serving of pancakes and added some butter on top. "Thank you."

"I'm glad... You know that last night happened."

' _Oh no what is she glad about? God please tell me I was good in bed!'_

"I'm glad that YOU are glad." He has no idea why he emphasized on the 'you' and screamed it out.

"Are you okay Zack?"

"So good!"

"You are definitely screaming. What's going on?"

"Nothing! Nothing! These pancakes are great!"

There was a long stretch of silence when he was trying to swallow his mouthful of pancakes. He was suddenly feeling very noxious.

"You don't remember what happened last night. Do you?" Her face was expressionless when she said this. This somehow made her look more menacing than usual. Her sharp eyes had always low-key scared him as much as they fascinated him. She slowly stood up and crossed her arms over her chest.

He finally swallowed and looked up at her. He had about a thousand racing thoughts in his head and about five hundred of them were about the various ways she'll kill him and bury his body.

"I... Amora.. I know I messed up." He slowly stood up to meet her. He was at least 3 inches taller than her and he was terrified of her. He was an honest man and he had no trouble admitting that she scared him at that moment.

"Do you want me to tell you what happened last night?"

_'Do I?'_

He didn't trust his voice and hence nodded his head.

"Sit down and let's talk."

Shit.


	11. Black camera lens

**11\. Black camera lens**

He laughs when he's scared. He actually laughs out loud. It's a weird defense mechanism that he had developed over time. He was alone most of his childhood with an overworking dad and a grandmother who was busy taking care of his sick grandfather. He has no complaints though. He wouldn't say he was abandoned, he wasn't dramatic after all.

So horror movies usually kept him occupied and gave him fewer things to feel sad about. Especially during the holiday seasons when kids were off doing whatever that they do. He understood that the adults were working hard to give him a better life. So he stuck to the television most of the time. Horror movies were his favorite. The thought that some paranormal entity could exist in this world was fascinating to him.

He was scared of them as much as he was fascinated by them.

Now that we have established that he is fascinated by the things that he is scared of, lets come back to the problem at hand.

He had a very angry wife in front of him. And unlike usual times he didn't know what he had done. He usually is aware of what ticked her off and its always something that he did.

Well, at least that hasn't changed.

Shit.

He slowly sat down on the chair in front of her. He had barely touched his dinner. His appetite was completely gone by now. He visibly gulped.

He was a lamb to slaughter. He was sure of that. He dared not say another word.

A single drop of sweat dripped from his forehead.

"You came home from the party, very drunk. Which, you are already aware of."

He pursed his lips.

Of course, he knew! That's what started this whole mess! He really should stop drinking.

"So. you came home staggering on your own feet. You barely could stand up that I had to support you and help you into the house. Which wasn't very attractive by the way."

He gave her an awkward smile and gestured for her to continue.

"So I decided to put you to bed and put a garbage can near the bed in case you hurl. Which you did almost the next second. You almost threw up on me.."

Oh god, this was getting worse by the minute.

"I left you a few minutes alone to go into the kitchen and get you a glass of water. When I came back you had already removed your shirt and was waving it around in the air like a war hero."

Someone, please kill me. Please!

He was not a religious man but he was praying so hard inside his head right now that he was sure God was able to hear him. And he also knew that God chose to ignore him cause he deserved to die by his wife's hands. Karma truly was a bitch.

"Please... Please tell me I didn't force you into doing something that you regretted."

She held him with a steady stare.

"Will you let me finish?"

"Yes. Sorry."

She took a deep breath to control herself. To control herself from mauling him with a knife or choke him to death he didn't know. But control is good.

"You like Britney Spears don't you?"

"Excuse me?!" That was the last thing he expected her to ask.

"Well?"

"Um... no"

"Well, you turned on the music system and decided to play Britney Spears for a solid of 2 hours. That actually got a couple of yells from the neighbors. Thankfully they didn't call the cops on you."

"I also didn't know that you could twerk"

"I... WHAT?!"

"Yeah you, for some reason, decided that twerking on the dining table was a great idea. So that went on for another half hour. The time was around 3 am by now."

His jaw fell open and it stayed hanging.

By the time she was done, she was trying very hard to control her laughter. She tried to control it by biting the inside of her cheek. She pursed her lips tightly and continued.

"So long story short you hit your head hard on the chandelier and got a concussion. So I made you stay awake for another hour to make sure you didn't die."

Did I mention you also finished the bottle of wine in the refrigerator? No? well you did"

"After almost four hours of putting up with your crap, you finally got tired. And went to bed."

"Pff....."

There was a long stretch of silence before she burst out into peals of laughter. She almost doubled over from it. She had to support herself on a chair so that she doesn't fall face first into the floor. It would be totally worth it though!

"haha... anyway...Hahaha!..." She looked over at him and burst into a new set of laughter.

He had his jaw hanging open and hadn't closed it.

She stepped closer to him and closed his jaw for him. "Basically you made a fool of yourself for four hours and I let it happen because that's the most entertainment I've had all week. Also, you have a great ass."

He buried his face in his palms and let out a frustrated scream. His whole face was as red as a tomato by now. He finally looked up and asked her in a timid tone. "So.. nothing happened between us both?"

"Absolutely nothing." She stood there grinning at him like a Cheshire cat. "I just thought messing with you would be fun. I mean c'mon you almost threw up on me. I deserve this."

She had a point.

She walked up to him and threw her arms around his shoulders. She still had that grin on her face and looked at him with amusement dancing in her eyes. He gave her a deadpanned look.

" That wasn't funny woman! Do you know how worried I was?"

She laughed a little before pulling him into a hug. "Oh honey I don't think you're capable of such things. You're not a cruel person in any way. You would never take advantage of anyone for that matter. Drunk or otherwise." She pulled away to place a small kiss on his cheek.

"You actually kept apologizing for almost throwing up on me and wouldn't shut up. Stop worrying. You'll never hurt me. Will you?"

"Of course not!"

She had to laugh at that one. He looked so offended.

She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled up at him. He had a hard time being mad at her when she was smiling up at him like he had said the best joke. He was the joke. But he couldn't bring himself to mind. He was just relieved that the worse hadn't happened. She pushed herself forward and lowered her eyelashes. That was a very seductive look. She breathed near his lips.

In a slow sultry tone, she whispered, "Where did you learn how to twerk?"

"Oh for god's sake!"

He threw her head back and laughed! She blew him a kiss and sauntered away.

"Oh, by the way! I recorded everything."

**Author's Note:**

> This is an independent story. I welcome contructive criticism to make the story better. it will be my pleasure to add more chapters should I receive the requests to do so. Thank you for reading!


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